The Reason Why

We might as well face it - sometimes life just plainly sucks. It may be through no fault of our own...in fact, the worst can be when it isn't. In times such as these, it is almost certain that somewhere in me will come the voice screaming that enigmatic question - why? Why me? Why do I have to go through this? Why did this happen to me? Why not him? Why not her? What purpose does it serve? What's the point? Why-why-why? At times, the frustration can reach the point where one wants to do nothing more than drop to their knees, lift their heads to the sky and scream, "Why?" Now, if you're a religious person, you probably have the belief that all will work for your good and that God is aware of everything and has purpose behind everything. Now, not to disparage anyone's faith, (including mine) but sometimes that just doesn't seem enough. When life sucks, you crave something more than that. You want a concrete reason, a sensible answer. We really become much like the little child who has been denied a request from his parents. The first word out of his mouth is "why?" We all remember the frustration when our parents would give that irritating and unnerving answer, "because." Our little minds exploded with fury. Why can't you tell me? You obviously have some reason behind your answer, what is it? Why don't you think I'll understand? (I still cringe to think of it.) Yet, for all our maturing and growing up, we are still such creatures at times in our relation to God. We seek reasons to our trials and difficulties, and sometimes the answer that comes seems to resonate with the infamous "because." It drives us mad. We want to know! And we want to know now! Why can't you tell me? There must be a reason for this, what is it? Don't you think I'll understand? Thus, we feel left to ourselves, battling to find in ourselves some answer to the question - why?
It was during my time in Brazil that I learned something that I should never forget, though unfortunately I do at times. For it was there in the 100+ degree heat with 80 percent humidity that at last I began to see the reason why. Not to what I was facing at the time, however. Rather the difficulties of years past, some nearly five years before the fact, began to lift from the fog of confusion and senselessness. I could understand why so much that had happened to me so long ago had happened. I was given the answer, but years after it had ended. Just like a little child, it may take years for us to understand why our parents would deny our petitions at times. So too, it may take time for us to recognize why we face what we face. It may well be that we can't face the answer when we're still embroiled in whatever the problem is. Perhaps it would make no sense, or still not be enough. Perhaps time is the only thing that brings understanding. The point, however, is that the answer does come...in any situation, with any difficulty, anytime, anywhere...but the answer is always something we must wait for. Patiently, we must wait until time allows us to understand what we always should have.